I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize