I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
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