Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
