Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
