He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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