I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
