Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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