just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
What a dumb baby whore.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
