imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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