oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
