I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize