Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
