Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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