College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
