today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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