Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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