Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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