so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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