haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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