I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
