Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
