we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
