it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
