I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
