I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
At least life still wants to fuck me.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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