He had one of those small greek statue penises
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
