did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Randomize
