Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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