yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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