Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
