I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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