nutella sex= disaster
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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