I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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