no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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