Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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