Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
