C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
