the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
