butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize