this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
These tits shall not be calmed
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
