gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
