When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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