Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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