I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
