The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Randomize
