i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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