Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Still dying that you shit outside
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
