You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
