12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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