And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
