Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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