and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
