I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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