Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
