Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize