in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
