The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize