Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
