yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
