Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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