I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
