i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
