One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
