ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
