turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
